


A Reflection on Hats

by shireness



Series: 5B Divergence [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, babies come with hats?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-24 21:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20021137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shireness/pseuds/shireness
Summary: There are some things you don't understand understand until you become a parent.(Set in the 5b 'verse, but knowledge of previous installments not necessary.)





	A Reflection on Hats

**Author's Note:**

> A few days ago, @justanotherwannabeclassic expressed her desire for a thousand fics to include the "babies come with hats" thing from The West Wing. I'm only too happy to oblige.
> 
> Unbeta-ed. Set in my 5b 'verse because me.

Killian doesn’t have a lot of experience with babies - or any, really. He’s a pirate, after all, not a nursemaid; it’s not that surprising.

There seems to be some expectation, however, that after the role Killian played in rescuing the littlest Nolan from Zelena’s clutches, he’ll want hold the baby and coo at the baby and whatever else one does with babies. He doesn’t know. Again, not his area of expertise. All he knows is that Dave seems insistent on showing off his infant, and Killian is running out of appreciative noises.

“You look a little overwhelmed,” the prince comments after his third offer for Killian to take a turn holding the little lad. 

“That’s one word for it,” Killian mutters not nearly far enough under his breath, still staring nervously at the blue-hatted bundle in the other man’s arms.

“Well, what’s so overwhelming about it then?” David asks. He’s being shockingly patient about the whole thing, but Killian still rather wishes he’d just shut up. 

But put on the spot with that calm, understanding voice, Killian can’t just not answer. It’d be ruder than anything he has to say. Frantically, his mind whirs through all the different things he could offer without causing too much offense. 

Not that it works. Instead of saying something normal, Killian instead blurts out, “The hats!”

He absolutely deserves the confused look David offers him. “You’re overwhelmed because of… the hats?”

“Not overwhelmed,” Killian backtracks, “they’re just… bizarre. What’s the point of them?” He’d originally assumed on their quest to retrieve the baby from the Wicked Witch that she’d put the hat on him herself in an unusually kind gesture against the cold. Now that they’re safely back at the hospital, however, Killian has seen in the nursery that all the infants have these ridiculous knit hats on. Just another pointless convention in the Land Without Magic, he supposes.

“To keep his ears warm,” David replies in a tone that suggests it’s obvious. Honestly, it might be, now that someone has said it out loud.

Never let it be said, though, that Killian Jones doesn’t buckle down under pressure. It might be said that sheer bullheadedness is one of his strongest traits - or at least one of his most obvious. “Was that such an issue back in the Enchanted Forest?” he asks stubbornly. “I don’t remember these at all before - it certainly  _ seemed _ like just a blanket was enough - but here… what, do babies come with hats?”

David laughs. “I mean, it’s not like a free gift with purchase or they’re born already wearing one, but yeah, it’s kind of a thing in hospitals in this world. Baby’s born, put them in a pink or blue hat. It’s cute. I think you’re kind of overthinking it.”

“I still don’t see the point,” Killian says, just to get the last word in. “Regardless, he’s a handsome lad. You and the lady Snow must be very proud.”

“Thank you. We are,” David beams. The sheer love is so obvious on his face as he gazes down at his son, gently bouncing the as-yet-unnamed boy as he starts to wake and fuss. “And it’ll all make sense one day. You’ll understand.”

Killian doubts that. Currently, his prospects of future children seem bleak. Emma has made it very obvious that she intends to return to New York now that the latest crisis is resolved, taking any chance he might have had at romance along with her. It took him hundreds of years to get over his first love; the chance of him finding someone else after Emma leaves is slim to none, especially since he knows in some concrete way, right down to his very bones and soul, that Emma Swan is  _ It _ for him. Capital letters and proclamations she doesn’t want to hear and all.

No, the chances of him magically understanding what David is talking about some day are slim to none.

———

He should have counted on David’s ability to multitask: meeting his new granddaughter and gloating to Killian, all at once. Not that Killian particularly notices; he’s too busy trying to make sure that the ridiculous hat is pulled down securely over her little pointed ears and soft tufts of hair. She’s alternately a flailing mess of limbs and an utterly limp and squishy bundle, and Killian has never been more smitten.

“Congratulations!” David enthuses, leaning over to see Charlotte’s little face more clearly as Snow moves to fuss over Emma. “Welcome to the club,  _ Dad _ .”

“Thanks,” Killian grins back. Gods above, he can’t stop smiling. “It feels great to be here.”

“I’ll bet.” 

There’s a beat of silence as his wee lass shakes with a little sneeze and both men move to secure the blankets more securely around her body. Killian can’t help but smooth his hand along the hat again, making sure everything is covered. 

David laughs a little when he sees it. “So, you get it now?”

Killian furrows his brows in confusion at first; in a moment like this, it’s a little hard to remember years-old debates. When he does remember, though, he huffs his own laugh through his nose. “Aye. Well, maybe not entirely. I still think the hats are a little ridiculous and not altogether necessary.”

“But…?”

“But… well, it’s like a promise, isn’t it?” Killian asks, looking at the prince for confirmation. “As a parent, you promise to keep your child safe and loved and warm. And it starts with a hat.”

“Honestly, I just meant how cute they look in the hat,” David admits, “but… wow. Yeah. Deep. That too, I guess.”

“If I’m not careful, people will think I’ve gone soft,” Killian winks. He’s not serious, of course, not in the least; if he has gone soft (and he seriously doubts that that’s the case, now that he has something so precious to protect), he couldn’t care less about what other people think about it.

“Kids will do that,” David nods sagely. “But if that’s the price to pay… it’s still worth it. Every day.”

With his newborn daughter safely cradled in his arms, Killian doesn’t doubt that for a second. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Also posted on tumblr, where I'm @shireness-says.


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